T2+Narrative

__Monday 4 June 2011__

T2 Narrative Writing

__Thursday 30 June 2011__

“Aro LeFevre one of the most famous businessmen in the world is still missing. It is believed that he ran off. His two children are left with Aro’s new wife...” Muting the television, I glared at the news lady. Next she’d be going on about how I had only married Aro for money which is not true. Well maybe a tiny bit but not completely.

Pulling on my brand new Louis Vuitton jacket, I rushed out to my brand new car. “Where are you going?” Adelynn yelled from behind me. Groaning, I turned around to face her. She was my height which meant I had to look straight into her piercing green eyes. “Collins office” I shrugged. Why did she never act as if I was the adult? “I’m coming” She declared. Fantastic. “You can’t” I lied childishly. Detective Collins wouldn’t mind, he quite liked Adelynn she was helpful unlike me. “Can” Scowling, I turned and got into my car letting her get in the other side. Of course Adelynn had won.

“Mrs LeFevre, I was just about to call you. Roger found something...” Detective Collins told me as I stalked into the building of the CIA. “Of course you where, Collins” I rolled my eyes under my darkened sunglasses. He looked taken aback. No one talked to Detective Collins like that, except me. Ignoring my comment he went on. “Roger found that someone has been following Mr LeFevre for at least the last decade. We think that this man may have taken Mr LeFevre” “Wait, is this man called Carlos Conway?” Adelynn asked rushing to catch up with us. Detective Collins stopped to look at her an interested expression sitting on his needing botox face “He goes by many names but one was Carlos Conway. Why?” Adelynn kicked at the ground, shrugging. “Miss LeFevre, this is important. This could help us find your father and your fortune would not be stolen” As he said this urgency shot into his voice expression changing to worry. Looking up Adelynn began, “When I was seven a man came along his name was Carlos Conway he tried to get our money...” She looked at me fear and sadness rising in her eyes. “Go on” I urged feeling sorry for her. I’d heard the story from Aro but hearing it from Adelynn would be different. “He...he kidnapped me hoping Father would give up things to get me back. He didn’t. So then Carlos got into our bank account somehow. He stole a pile of our money. He got caught but he escaped from prison.” Adelynn whimpered. Quickly I started walking onwards becoming bored with the conversation. My heels clacked on the dark tiled floor sounding as grumpy as I felt while Adelynn’s sneakers squeaked and Detective Collins shoes made absolutely no sound.

Turning the corner I stepped into Roger’s area of the building. He called it his office but it looked nothing like one with white walls hidden behind huge screens. The room was big but felt small with everything piled into it. “Chanel, how are you?” Roger called from the other side of the room his black hair was all over the place not matching his neat suit. “Tell me what you’ve found” I instructed. He rolled his eyes before moving to the biggest screen. As he pulled up the picture I nodded slightly. “Recognize him?” Detective Collins asked Adelynn. Turning I looked from one to the other. Adelynn nodded her green eyes sparked with worry “That’s him. Same eyes. Same tanned skin. Just different hair” Roger tapped something into the computer making another image appear. Now there sat a small picture with a bit of writing. Looking at me apologetically he began “There wasn’t much but Romeo Ignatz has been after Mr LeFevre for a long time...” “No wonder he changed his name” Adelynn breathed out. Spluttering with laughter I covered my mouth. I had to agree with Adelynn Romeo wasn’t the best name in the world. Glaring at us Roger went on “Mr LeFevre has moved many times because of Romeo Ignatz. This is the first time Romeo has bothered Mr LeFevre in New York...” “By kidnapping him” I muttered. I seriously didn’t want to hear this why couldn’t they just find my husband instead of wasting time. “We’ll find him. I have a search team out” Detective Collins reassured me. Scowling, I took a seat feeling lost. What if they couldn’t find him? I’d be stuck with his kids. We’d have no money. Well Aro did have a large fortune. Slowly, I rubbed at my eyes they felt heavy from both tiredness and all the mascara layered on them.

“What?” I snapped as someone shook me awake. Opening my eyes a tall blonde haired boy stood above me. “They found Romeo” he yelled at me. Jumping up from Roger’s chair I screamed happily. Lyle looked at me with confusion in his eyes. “Acting like a kid” I laughed hitting my head. But who cares if I was acting like a kid. They’d found Romeo. Which meant they had found Aro. “Show me him” I demanded.

Harsh red lights flashed as we turned into the prisoners corridor. A siren was going off making me feel even more nervous. What the heck was happening? “He’s escaped!” Someone yelled from down the corridor sprinting towards us. “Escaped?” Lyle asked worriedly. Down the corridor I could see people rushing around frantically. A few of them shouting into phones. What was with all the commotion it wasn’t as if Romeo Ignatz was a killer. Was he? “Where’s your Father?” I asked Lyle. Suddenly it hit me. Lyle hadn’t smiled once, he hadn’t told me anything about Aro, he hadn’t even taken me to see Aro because he was dead. Tears rolled down my cheeks making Lyle smile. “At the hospital” “Dead?” I asked my lip trembling. “No!” He laughed. Letting out a sigh of relief I hugged Lyle for the first time. Thank god Aro wasn’t dead.

__Monday 27 June 2011__

**Comments: Thanks Maddie for trying to include the detail, to make the story easier to follow.**

**Target - Next Steps (Level 4)** **Consistently select some precise verbs for impact to describe actions and events to capture thoughts and feelings (as discussed)**

“Aro LeFevre one of the most famous businessmen in the world is still missing. It is believed that he ran off. His two children are left with Aro’s new wife...” Muting the television, I glared at the news lady. Next she’d be going on about how I had only married Aro for money which is not true. Well maybe a tiny bit but not completely.

Pulling on my brand new Louis Vuitton jacket, I rushed out to my brand new car. “Where are you going?” Adelynn yelled from behind me. Groaning, I turned around to face her. She was my height which meant I had to look straight into her piercing green eyes. “Collins office” I shrugged. Why did she never act as if I was the adult? “I’m coming” She declared. Fantastic. “You can’t” I lied childishly. Detective Collins wouldn’t mind, he quite liked Adelynn she was helpful unlike me. “Can” Scowling, I turned and got into my car letting her get in the other side. Of course Adelynn had won.

“Mrs LeFevre, I was just about to call you. Roger found something...” Detective Collins told me as I stalked into the building of the CIA. “Of course you where, Collins” I rolled my eyes under my darkened sunglasses. He looked taken aback. No one talked to Detective Collins like that, except me. Ignoring my comment he went on. “Roger found that someone has been following Mr LeFevre for at least the last decade. We think that this man may have taken Mr LeFevre” “Wait, is this man called Carlos Conway?” Adelynn asked rushing to catch up with us. Detective Collins stopped to look at her an interested expression sitting on his needing botox face “He goes by many names but one was Carlos Conway. Why?” Adelynn kicked at the ground, shrugging. “Miss LeFevre, this is important. This could help us find your father and your fortune would not be stolen” As he said this urgency shot into his voice expression changing to worry. Looking up Adelynn began, “When I was seven a man came along his name was Carlos Conway he tried to get our money...” She looked at me fear and sadness rising in her eyes. “Go on” I urged feeling sorry for her. I’d heard the story from Aro but hearing it from Adelynn would be different. “He...he kidnapped me hoping Father would give up things to get me back. He didn’t. So then Carlos got into our bank account somehow. He stole a pile of our money. He got caught but he escaped from prison.” Adelynn whimpered. Quickly I started walking onwards becoming bored with the conversation. My heels clacked on the dark tiled floor while Adelynn’s sneakers squeaked and Detective Collins shoes made absolutely no sound.

Turning the corner I stepped into Roger’s area of the building. He called it his office but it looked nothing like one with white walls hidden behind huge screens. The room was big but felt small with everything piled into it. “Chanel, how are you?” Roger called from the other side of the room his black hair was all over the place not matching his neat suit. “Tell me what you’ve found” I instructed. He rolled his eyes before moving to the biggest screen. As he pulled up the picture I nodded slightly. “Recognize him?” Detective Collins asked Adelynn. Turning I looked from one to the other. Adelynn nodded her green eyes sparked with worry “That’s him. Same eyes. Same tanned skin. Just different hair” Roger tapped something into the computer making another image appear. Now there sat a small picture with a bit of writing. Looking at me apologetically he began “There wasn’t much but Romeo Ignatz has been after Mr LeFevre for a long time...” “No wonder he changed his name” Adelynn breathed out. Spluttering with laughter I covered my mouth. I had to agree with Adelynn Romeo wasn’t the best name in the world. Glaring at us Roger went on “Mr LeFevre has moved many times because of Romeo Ignatz. This is the first time Romeo has bothered Mr LeFevre in New York...” “By kidnapping him” I muttered. I seriously didn’t want to hear this why couldn’t they just find my husband instead of wasting time. “We’ll find him. I have a search team out” Detective Collins reassured me. Scowling, I took a seat feeling lost. What if they couldn’t find him? I’d be stuck with his kids. We’d have no money. Well Aro did have a large fortune. Slowly, I rubbed at my eyes they felt heavy from both tiredness and all the mascara layered on them.

“What?” I snapped as someone shook me awake. Opening my eyes a tall blonde haired boy stood above me. “They found Romeo” he yelled at me. Jumping up from Roger’s chair I screamed happily. Lyle looked at me with confusion in his eyes. “Acting like a kid” I laughed hitting my head. But who cares if I was acting like a kid. They’d found Romeo. Which meant they had found Aro. “Show me him” I demanded.

Harsh red lights flashed as we turned into the prisoners corridor. A siren was going off making me feel even more nervous. What the heck was happening? “He’s escaped!” Someone yelled from down the corridor sprinting towards us. “Escaped?” Lyle asked worriedly. Down the corridor I could see people rushing around frantically. A few of them shouting into phones. What was with all the commotion it wasn’t as if Romeo Ignatz was a killer. Was he? “Where’s your Father?” I asked Lyle. Suddenly it hit me. Lyle hadn’t smiled once, he hadn’t told me anything about Aro, he hadn’t even taken me to see Aro because he was dead. Tears rolled down my cheeks making Lyle smile. “At the hospital” “Dead?” I asked my lip trembling. “No!” He laughed. Letting out a sigh of relief I hugged Lyle for the first time. Thank god Aro wasn’t dead.

__Friday 24 June 2011__

“Aro LeFevre one of the most famous businessmen in the world is still missing. It is believed that he ran off. His two children are left with Aro’s new wife...” Muting the television, I glared at the news lady. Next she’d be going on about how I had only married Aro for money which is not true. Well maybe a tiny bit but not completely.

Pulling on my brand new Louis Vuitton jacket, I rushed out to my brand new car. “Where are you going?” Adelynn yelled from behind me. Groaning, I turned around to face her. She was my height which meant I had to look straight into her piercing green eyes. “Collins office” I shrugged. Why did she never act as if I was the adult? “I’m coming” She declared. Fantastic. “You can’t” I lied childishly. Detective Collins wouldn’t mind, he quite liked Adelynn she was helpful unlike me. “Can” Scowling, I turned and got into my car letting her get in the other side. Of course Adelynn had won.

“Mrs LeFevre, I was just about to call you. Roger found something...” Detective Collins told me as I stalked into the building of the CIA. “Of course you where, Collins” I rolled my eyes under my darkened sunglasses. He looked taken aback. No one talked to Detective Collins like that, except me. Ignoring my comment he went on. “Roger found that someone has been following Mr LeFevre for at least the last decade. We think that this man may have taken Mr LeFevre” “Wait, is this man called Carlos Conway?” Adelynn asked rushing to catch up with us. Detective Collins stopped to look at her an interested expression sitting on his needing botox face “He goes by many names but one was Carlos Conway. Why?” Adelynn kicked at the ground, shrugging. “Miss LeFevre, this is important. This could help us find your father and your fortune would not be stolen” As he said this urgency shot into his voice expression changing to worry. Looking up Adelynn began, “When I was seven a man came along his name was Carlos Conway he tried to get our money...” She looked at me fear and sadness rising in her eyes. “Go on” I urged feeling sorry for her. I’d heard the story from Aro but hearing it from Adelynn would be different. “He...he kidnapped me hoping Father would give up things to get me back. He didn’t. So then Carlos got into our bank account somehow. He stole a pile of our money. He got caught but he escaped from prison.” Adelynn whimpered. Quickly I started walking onwards becoming bored with the conversation. My heels clacked on the dark tiled floor while Adelynn’s sneakers squeaked and Detective Collins shoes made absolutely no sound.

Turning the corner I stepped into Roger’s area of the building. He called it his office but it looked nothing like one with white walls hidden behind huge screens. The room was big but felt small with everything piled into it. “Chanel, how are you?” Roger called from the other side of the room his black hair was all over the place not matching his neat suit. “Tell me what you’ve found” I instructed. He rolled his eyes before moving to the biggest screen. As he pulled up the picture I nodded slightly. “Recognize him?” Detective Collins asked Adelynn. Turning I looked from one to the other. Adelynn nodded her green eyes sparked with worry “That’s him. Same eyes. Same tanned skin. Just different hair” Roger tapped something into the computer making another image appear. Now there sat a small picture with a bit of writing. Looking at me apologetically he began “There wasn’t much but Romeo Ignatz has been after Mr LeFevre for a long time...” “No wonder he changed his name” Adelynn breathed out. Spluttering with laughter I covered my mouth. I had to agree with Adelynn Romeo wasn’t the best name in the world. Glaring at us Roger went on “Mr LeFevre has moved many times because of Romeo Ignatz. This is the first time Romeo has bothered Mr LeFevre in New York...” “By kidnapping him” I muttered. I seriously didn’t want to hear this why couldn’t they just find my husband instead of wasting time. “We’ll find him. I have a search team out” Detective Collins reassured me. Scowling, I took a seat feeling lost. What if they couldn’t find him? I’d be stuck with his kids. We’d have no money. Well Aro did have a large fortune. Slowly, I rubbed at my eyes they felt heavy from both tiredness and all the mascara layered on them.

“What?” I snapped as someone shook me awake. Opening my eyes a tall blonde haired boy stood above me. “They found Romeo” he yelled at me. Jumping up from Roger’s chair I screamed happily. Lyle looked at me with confusion in his eyes. “Acting like a kid” I laughed hitting my head. But who cares if I was acting like a kid. They’d found Romeo. Which meant they had found Aro. “Show me him” I demanded.

Harsh red lights flashed as we turned into the prisoners corridor. A siren was going off making me feel even more nervous. What the heck was happening? “He’s escaped!” Someone yelled from down the corridor sprinting towards us. “Escaped?” Lyle asked worriedly. Down the corridor I could see people rushing around frantically. A few of them shouting into phones. What was with all the commotion it wasn’t as if Romeo Ignatz was a killer. Was he? “Where’s your Father?” I asked Lyle. Suddenly it hit me. Lyle hadn’t smiled once, he hadn’t told me anything about Aro, he hadn’t even taken me to see Aro because he was dead. Tears rolled down my cheeks making Lyle smile. “At the hospital” “Dead?” I asked my lip trembling. “No!” He laughed. Letting out a sigh of relief I hugged Lyle for the first time. Maybe these kids weren’t so bad.

__Thursday 23 June 2011__

**Comments: Maddie you are very good at using dialogue to build up the personality of your characters. The beginning of your story hooked me straight in.**

**Target - Next Steps** **As I read down, it becomes a little confusing as there is more dialogue than description. Remember to include the detail and show the reader what is happening so they do not get lost.**

“Aro Le Fevre one of the most famous businessmen in the world is still missing. It is believed that he ran off. His two children are left with Aro’s new wife...” Muting the television, I glared at the news lady. Next she’d be going on about how I had only married Aro for money which is not true. Well maybe a tiny bit but not completely.

Pulling on my brand new Louis Vuitton jacket, I rushed out to my brand new car. “Where are you going?” Adelynn yelled from behind me. Groaning, I turned around to face her. She was my height which meant I had to look straight into her piercing green eyes. “Collins office” I shrugged. Why did she never act as if I was the adult? “I’m coming” She declared. Fantastic. “You can’t” I lied childishly. Detective Collins wouldn’t mind, he quite liked Adelynn she was helpful unlike me. “Can” Scowling, I turned and got into my car letting her get in the other side. Of course Adelynn had won.

“Mrs Le Fevre, I was just about to call you. Roger found something...” Detective Collins told me as I stalked into the building. “Of course you where, Collins” I rolled my eyes under my darkened sunglasses. He looked taken aback. No one talked to Collins like that, except me. Ignoring my comment he went on. “Roger found that someone has been following Mr Le Fevre for at least the last decade. We think that this man may have taken Mr Le Fevre” “Wait, is this man called Carlos Conway?” Adelynn asked rushing to catch up with us. Detective Collins stopped to look at her an interested expression sitting on his needing botox face “He goes by many names but one was Carlos Conway. Why?” Adelynn kicked at the ground, shrugging. “Miss Le Fevre, this is important. This could help us find your father and your fortune would not be stolen” As he said this urgency shot into his voice expression changing to worry. Looking up Adelynn began, “When I was seven a man came along his name was Carlos Conway he tried to get our money...” She looked at me fear and sadness rising in her eyes. “Go on” I urged feeling sorry for her. I’d heard the story from Aro but hearing it from Adelynn would be different. “He...he kidnapped me hoping Father would give up things to get me back. He didn’t. So then Carlos got into our bank account somehow. He stole a pile of our money. He got caught but he escaped from prison.” Reaching out I touched her arm in sympathy she pulled away immediately leaving my arm hanging in the air. Quickly I started working

__Wednesday 22 June 2011__

“Aro Le Fevre one of the most famous businessmen in the world is still missing. It is believed that he ran off. His two children are left with Aro’s new wife...” Muting the television, I glared at the news lady. Next she’d be going on about how I had only married Aro for money which is not true. Well maybe a tiny bit but not completely.

Pulling on my brand new Louis Vuitton jacket, I rushed out to my brand new car. “Where are you going?” Adelynn yelled from behind me. Groaning, I turned around to face her. She was my height with long waving chestnut brown hair with piercing green eyes. “Collins office” I shrugged. Why did she never act as if I was the adult? “I’m coming” She declared. Fantastic. “You can’t” I lied childishly. Detective Collins wouldn’t mind, he quite liked Adelynn she was helpful unlike me. “Can” Scowling, I turned and got into my car letting her get in the other side. Of course Adelynn had won.

“Mrs Le Fevre, I was just about to call you. Roger found something...” Detective Collins told me as I stalked into the building. “Of course you where, Collins” I rolled my eyes under my darkened sunglasses. He looked taken aback. No one talked to Collins like that, except me. Ignoring my comment he went on. “Roger found that someone has been following Mr Le Fevre for at least the last decade. We think that this man may have taken Mr Le Fevre” “Wait, is this man called Carlos Conway?” Adelynn asked rushing to catch up with us. Detective Collins stopped to look at her “He goes by many names but one was Carlos Conway”

__Tuesday 21 June 2011__

Setting: New York, America

Major Characters: Chanel Faye Le Fevre Chanel was bought up as a spoilt child only good for shopping. An only child and now left to look after her new Husband’s two teenage children she really doesn’t know what to do.

Minor Characters: Adelynn Le Fevre (Aro’s daughter), Lyle Le Fevre (Aro’s son), Aro Le Fevre

Plot: When Aro Le Fevre goes missing his new wife (Chanel) is left to look after his two teenage children. At first it seems that Chanel doesn’t care the Aro has gone missing but she really does.

Event 1: Husband is missing trying to get on with life, can’t the news is everywhere. The children are panicked making Chanel stressed

Event 2: Helping detectives, the have only couple of clues but that is enough to give them a hint in who did it

Event 3: Find them, lock them up, they escape

Outcome: Aro was taken for money. He get’s found, people get locked up. They escape though.

__Friday 10 June__

Power

Sitting upon her throne sit’s none other then Power Around her sit children, only one of these children are Powers Letting her beautiful long whitened from age hair fall from under her golden crown she rises from the silk covered throne Moving forwards the children look after her in envy knowing they will never hold so much power Throwing her arms out in the air Honor rushes forwards to take the long flowing cape from Powers shoulders revealing an allegiant white dress that flows to the cold tiled floor.